I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
