I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
