That's when you crack a 10am beer
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
