Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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