Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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