When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
