Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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