I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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