Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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