One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We have started to decorate penises.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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