ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
