i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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