I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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