i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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