Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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