I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
