Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize