I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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