I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I bet he comes in French.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
zippers are such a cool invention
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.