It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"