I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....