I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.