He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
