I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize