also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I pour the whiskey from now on
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
