Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
