I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
