She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I deserve this hangover.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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