Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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