Are we in a gay sports bar?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
