i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
please come you make the beer taste better
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's official drugs can't kill me
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
