All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So much Jack, so little girl.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
