whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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