she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
