You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
