After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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