You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Boobs speak an international language.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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