Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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