is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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