I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
