thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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