Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
