About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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