I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
