Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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