i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Damn victory sex feels great
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
