I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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