there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
