im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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