So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
