I hate all girls vehemently.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
