ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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