Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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