Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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