Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
