Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
