We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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