I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
