Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
