ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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