ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
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I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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