Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
